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Redeye

by Nate Monoxide

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1.
Your only worth is what can be exploited. Other than that your meaning's less than nothing. Do what you're meant to like a good consumer. You can't resist when we've bought out the future. If it can't be monetized better ditch the dream, get back to scheming. Something we can advertise. Gotta make it pleasing, void of meaning. Brand new product. Don't get hung up on details. This machine crushes everything not up for sale now. You've got no option than to be complicit. We build an empire and we store you in it. The data blocks they tell us of your value. Don't think you're special we'll survive without you.
2.
Do you remember a long time ago? I'm not sure if I do. I've been running things over in my head and realised I barely knew you. A romanticised version of my favourite fictional person. Am I wrong for saying that I wish things were different? Do you recall when things first went sideways? 'Cause I sure do. It's been long time, and still not enough time to think it through. I walked past your house when I knew that you were long gone, and dare not cast a sideways glance in case I catch an echo of reality. Cause in my head, it's always you. It always was and never will be. And if I could I'd will it true. I hold tight 'cause letting go might kill me. Do you remember a lifetime ago with your arms round my waist? And my heart pounding against your cheek, making a bid to escape. I dread the day when my memory slips and I fall back down to earth. 'Cause I'm forgetting your face, but still remember the taste of always trying to find the right words .
3.
He said he needs somebody. We're here to help. Just out to make some money. Don't ask, don't tell. By the time the devil hears of us we'll be legends. Etch the names, then declare best beware of Burke and Hare. Dead bodies are a dime a dozen. Huge stockpile if you know where to go. Comb the streets for a wayward spirit. They're long gone before they even know. It's fine, asphyxiation don't leave a mark. So come St Mary's close long after it's dark.
4.
You've been at this for a while. All the hype and still no output. Will you ever knuckle down? Grab a pen and write a good hook. Is your new album coming out soon? Do you need me to write it for you? I've been waiting eagerly. Every update a postponement. While you pen one symphony I've been at ten thousand percent. Fire up like a molotov. Wind it back and show me something. For every time your music dropped I had a dime I'd still have nothing.
5.
While blind mice run round in circles, chef serves up his dish. Villains playing role reversal. Can't tell which is which. Monsters are everywhere without exception, hiding in plain sight. Let me protect you. They show in places that you least expect them . If you've heard rumours, the stories are true . Pigs in houses, pigs in blankets, pigs out on patrol. Pigs in court, pigs on probation. Time for sausage roll. I'm the big bad wolf in the sheets and I've got my eyes on a treat. You look good enough to eat and I bet you taste sickly sweet. So you best believe what you read. When your flesh meets my teeth and I wipe the blood from my lips, know you've gotten in way too deep.
6.
Sucks to be that quiet kid who everyone picks last. Hang out in the library during lunch and then skip class. Because in school they ruled, then everything changed. Out here, it's our rules. We're not playing those games. Scraped knees and stray elbows are something overlooked. It'll all be over soon keep your head in the books.
7.
Wicked Lies 02:59
It hides beneath the surface. That gut feeling. A stomach full of moths so unsettling. Suspect but no evidence to make a case. Distort like funhouse mirrors, see the second face. Complicit, illicit lies. A pivot to wicked lies When hearing what you want will it satiate? So when the mask's peeled back know it's far too late.
8.
My Sedative 02:37
Bright lights pass by over head as I'm wheeled further down a blank hallway on a bed. Cold to every touch, I'm shaking. This must be a sick mistake. When will the nurse come fix my plague or help me slip to death's embracing. The toxic medicine. I'll let it in, my sedative. And if you let me live then I'll forgive you everything. Standstill with my pulse racing. Heart set to explode. No medication could fix me. It's just a matter of time. So euthanize me. I know you can't, but I'm begging.
9.
As the dead rise from out the grave, it's the end of the world. We get high and and we watch them. We're barely concerned. Zombies ate our neighbours. Savoring the brain, yes. Have you read the papers? The dead walk again. Shrug it off and conceal the bite, like that one movie scene. Gory like a Savini flick. This one's got some teeth.
10.
Wide Awake 02:39
I've been growing restless as the weeks are rolling by. My manic energy is seemingly in high supply. I've been sleeping through the day and wake throughout the night, and lying to my friends by saying that I feel alright. Wide awake through the dark's embrace. If I fade away, would you notice? Would you mourn for me? Pendulum is swinging and I'm feeling the decline. If I crash and burn I might not see the other side. Your concern for my welfare is no concern of mine. I can't dial it back I'm busy fighting my own mind. This is nothing new, I know my darkness as a friend. I weaponize my mental illness wield it with intent. Loaded with the rounds that go a round inside my head. With every word's a weapon every sentence an offense.
11.
We talked online 'til one day at a party met face to face. Sat on the curb. Got on well. If I wasn't with someone else... 5 am she knocked on my door. Said she'd climbed out through the window. Made me think of something corporate. If she wasn't drunk then maybe... Time it passed and as things do, the girl I know became someone I knew. Once we caught up, spoke of the past. In retrospect if I'd only asked...
12.
Remember how we fought? I'll admit to being at fault. You knew how to wind me up, and I'd take the bait, line and hook. This coin has two sides, you'd incite then I'd reply. I'm not proud to lose my cool, always finding something new. One last cigarette then pretend we never met. I've been trying to forget every stupid word I said to upset you. I know I'm in the wrong. It was my fault all along When you blame me, so do I. Swear I'm not that, kind of guy.
13.
I've just been struck with quite the revelation. It's turned my whole world upside down. I thought I knew my own orientation, but now I'm having second doubts I liked a girl who's now a guy. I thought I was straight. Does this mean I'm bi? It's not a problem it just raises questions, some things I don't quite understand. Yeah I can discern between sex and gender, but does this make me bi or pan?. I like him before he transitioned, and I still like him now. And if that makes me gay well, that's okay. Then tell him I'm coming out, right now. There's concepts that I didn't grow up learning, and it's a sign of times of change. I'm only asking with the best intentions, so I don't settle in my ways.
14.
Cryptid 03:25
Eyes in the dark blocking the path. Blink and then turn, poised to attack. I think I saw a cryptid. It was late in the cemetery. Something evil and twisted in the dark is the one thing that scares me. Size of a bear. Predator eyes glowing blood red. Stalking in the night. Don't dare retrace those fateful steps. Show the graveyard proper respect.
15.
Snow White 03:05
Someone tell her that beauty is swift. First it comes then it's gone. You can't repair mistakes with your fists. Even trying is wrong. Maybe one day she'll be stronger. She's the sweetest thing. Tormented within. She makes every day feel like the last one. Been through thick and thin. Painted on her skin, crimson stripes on a field of snow white. Remnants of the poison on her tongue and it seeps through her speech. Each word venom then turned back within. Pent up anger unleashed. Sometimes beauty just lives on the skin, sometimes ugly within. Sometimes learning to live with the doubt is a fight you can't win.

about

The fourth (and final) of the 'Red' albums. Redeye was wrote and recorded between May 1st and May 9th 2023.

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released May 9, 2023

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Nate Monoxide Cumbria, UK

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