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R​.​P​.​M.

by Nate Monoxide

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1.
Nobody will save you this time you can scream all that you want to I've got this villain thing refined You're in my clutches and I've got you You really thought you'd save the day You'd put an end to my crimes But this time you won't get away This isn't like the last time Heard it on the radio Where did all the down boys go Calling out, but we all know there's No more heroes Where they've gone we'll never know Swooping in look out below Super villains take control, there's No more heroes This time the bad guy gets the girl this time nobody saves the world it's countdown time for planet earth You're going to get what you deserve It's almost over clock is ticking I know what everyone's thinking Will the villain go down swinging why on earth's this monster singing?
2.
Lemonade 03:20
I still remember you were leaving through the window At the break of dawn while everybody was asleep The highs were high enough like we had never been low But everybody's older now and married or has kids Do you remember when we first met on the square we Tried to start a band and even played a couple gigs You were on the guitar and I tried my hand at drumming Covering Nirvana, pantera and blink I found a picture of us from two thousand and four Outside of the civic we were waiting for a show Back before I shaved my head and listened to pop punk more Back before you ran away and never came back home When did we all grow out of our fun phase? Pissed up in castle park those were some good days I'd be drunk by five, and you'd be drunk on wine Vodka straight 'cause we forgot lemonade We don't talk any more Why would we, do that
3.
In The Wrong 03:45
I was propping up the bar when you said you wanted to leave Said that is fine and I would make my way back home Said you couldn't exit cause you couldn't find a taxi I said it didn't matter 'cause I didn't wanna go Maybe I was in the wrong, and You were in the right but Maybe dial it back some I turned round and You walked away Well you're screaming like a banshee but it doesn't change a god-damn thing I did what I did I didn't really take a second to think You can leave if you like, if I'm ruining your life You can pack up all your things, you can go and take a hike Or you should maybe take a second and a deep breath and stop being a bitch (I was) saving for a present for my mother for her birthday Had a hundred quid that I had gone and put aside You had made some plans that we would go out for a meal and Hadn't clued me in so yet again we did collide Maybe I was in the wrong, but You weren't in the right so Maybe dial it back some You turned round and I walked away (I was) standing in the hallway you were walking out the front door Yelling loud enough to make the neighbours stop and stare Said I was a moron and you didn't love me anymore Said that it was over and that we were beyond repair Maybe I was in the wrong, but You weren't in the right so Maybe dial it back some I turned round and You walked away
4.
Hellion 04:17
Your girl's an outright hellion Can't settle down Each day's a brand-new rebellion New drama queen crowned When she wants something she'll kick and scream Until she's satisfied She thinks happiness just lives in dreams And she might just be right She's decided she's unhappy And nothing's ever enough Like a sniper when she's locked on Know she won't be rebuffed (And when she) speaks your name, it is to complain In a tone which is almost contempt And she sneaks away, and she plays those games I've a feeling I might be next She's been texting me saying she's horny While she's been sat right by your side I'd be telling lies if I said I was sorry She might get lucky tonight She said it's over and you're done It wasn't hard to decide Your girl's an outright hellion But then again so am I She says I'm the one she wanted But since we're two of a kind I said girl you don't understand That this was just for tonight She's been texting me saying she's horny While she's been sat right by your side I'd be telling lies if I said I was sorry She might get lucky tonight She'll be texting you saying she's sorry, She wants to be back by your side If I were you, know I'd never forgive her I guess it's a matter of pride
5.
Day Is Won 03:09
He doesn't know much and decided that he doesn't want to things are how they are so why question the things people choose It's all on the screen, it's all overblown No difference between a posh chair and a throne If you over complicate things, that's when it all gets confused His son sets away on a boat, it reminds him of when His friends all left too with the promise they'd return as men It's part of the cycle, a right to hand down Rifle in hand and a pocket of rounds It's happened before, and he knows it will happen again An ignorant bliss is a thing he can hardly afford It's the pawns not the politicians who will die by the sword Isn't it strange, how things never change Apathy's harmful while hate begets hate Surviving is not the same thing as returning from war It's over son, the day is won
6.
Seraphim 05:37
You found yourself in your lowest place Bored and lost and lonely I made my entrance and from the first taste You felt like you know me I said all the right words and phrases To make you feel of value Flawless lines and calculated gazes And from that moment I had you I dug deeper underneath your skin I became your everything Play your insides like a violin I'm the cancer growing deep within you The parasite that leeches all your strength I'm inside and I'm hatching Squeeze your heart and catch your breath I'm virulent and I'm catching I'm your seraphim, angel tainting everything I am right here I'm your seraphim, hook you in like heroin I'm your nightmare I'm your seraphim, I was sent to lure you in I am right here I'm your seraphim, swooping in on devil wings I'm your nightmare You suspect that something's going wrong Feels like I'm growing distant I get bored after pretending so long This isn't insufficient Wrote it all off with the ink in my pen You thought that I was under your command Twisted hearts can never mend The only reason being because I can Played you like the broken fool you are Left you alone and confused Even paranoia didn't get you far I snuffed out the stars for you So you could never find your way back home You'll never known love like mine Perfect words spoke in perfect tones Were throwing you a lifeline
7.
You are my poison, my toxin of choice You pick me up when I'm down Kill me slowly and help me find my voice Make every measure count I wanna drown underneath your surface Your miasmic embrace Claw at the walls, trying to find purchase Until the whole world's erased And if you kill me, I'm taking you with me You're along for the ride You're my affliction, my tangled addiction my lowest low, my highest high At your insistence, I'll tell you what I heard I can't resist it (can't resist no) Love your persistence, tequila mockingbird This twisted bliss it (spins me sideways, turns me over) (upside down I'm always falling down)
8.
Crazy 04:18
Further down the rabbit hole until you see the light A roller coaster with no harness so best hold on tight Violent patterns you could never hope to understand A psychedelic trip, further into wonderland My mind races, I'm stimulated, hating the way that it's mistranslated The signs all designed to reflect decline Inside and perhaps there's a light to shine Roaches scatter, and they try to hide Behind every eye I see a chesire smile Paranoia or just versatile Vile or reviling? It's just the style Nightmares linger, fill waking hours with their words Spoke with my demons, we agreed that we would come to terms Silhouettes they dance around with embers in their eyes I should be screaming, but I am the devil in disguise Turbulent mind, am I fine if I find That I'm fiending for fights, it's a feeling I like When I'm reeling inside, unfeeling and dealing With demons and keen to be meeting The fiends that are leading my feelings I'm speaking of things concealed and are breeding Secretly screaming, I'm steeling myself as I lean in for meaning, revealing the noise in my dreams as I sleep We all get a little crazy We all go a little crazy sometimes Am I crazy if I'm wanting to fight with God Am I crazy if I'm wanting to burn down something Crazy if I'm wanting to fight with God Am I crazy? Is that crazy?
9.
Tell me what I can or can't be like you know me And plot my course as if you were the one who owned me I'm doomed to fail you say and I'm thinking that if only That wasn't true I would not be so morosely Obsessed with trying to change away from the old me I'm not relatable, in truth it's getting lonely I'm slowly drifting further away from my home, see And all my demons here ensure I stay unholy Call me a martyr, but I'm smarter, I worker harder Just to push a little farther and to spark a little change Even though it's getting darker, I'll be ready for departure And I'm prepared to bombard you just to silence all the hate I am a pipe-bomb when the mic's on and I'm kicking My songs, ticking down all the people who've wronged me Wishing I'm gone, and dismissing so long, but I'm strong And I'm taking back the narrative you taught me You fired the first shot Build a bomb workshop When I walk into a crowd you should know that I'm the bomb It's alarming how much harm I'm causing when I set it off You've got your finger on the pulse, well my finger's on the button If you push me then I'm pushing it and ending it so sudden You'd have thought that God himself was the one who cleared the room What's a tik-tok trend to a big bad boom? Don't presume you run the world and you'll always play the hero When I'm counting down the days like a timer hitting zero Let the first three knows know it's time to hit the lights Let the first on the scene be scarred for life Let the first thrown stone be responded to in type Let the first to buy the hype be buried by the mic I've been labeled lesser, under pressure by oppressors But now I'm taking measures and becoming the aggressor You paint me as a monster long enough that I will be one And if you poke the monster, that's when you get eaten
10.
Crimescene 04:03
Just like a loaded gun, just like a ticking bomb Just like a coiled up snake I'm waiting Just like a criminal, just like a psychopath Just like a murderer I hate things These seeds, grow into killing trees Please be, what I need to release me Just like the hottest coals, just like an inferno Just like the fires of hell I'm burning Just like a flashing light, just like a siren's call Just like a warning shot disturbing These deeds, grow into a disease Please be, what I need to release me Crime scenes, sneaking into my dreams Now it happens nightly Was it me, it might be I still see the High vis, jackets reflect light, things do not feel all right, these Insides twist too tight and There's no release Just like a final breath, just like a curtain call Just like an exit wound left bleeding Just like a pounding head, just like a fractured skull Just like a trepanning or leeching These things, never could appease me Please be, what I need to defeat me
11.
Pretty Dumb 04:41
Strike up a conversation Never drop the part Face and mind in mediation Nothing's all you've got Posture strikes self-assurance, And you talk the talk Your whole content is appearance And it's all for nought I'm unseemly, so serenely Sick, unfeeling, numb You're so pretty, you're so silly You're so very dumb The pick of the litter once thought I was bitter And thought they were better, but I still persist For all of the hype I survived 'cause I'm fitter Hit harder and slap you to ignorant bliss It's not a diss just a twisted insistence That we shouldn't mix 'cause we can't coexist Your wretched existence it just evokes pity Your beauty abhorrent, your substance a cyst Your condescension rings empty and hollow Through your gritted teeth It grows thin and the cracks are showing I see the scales beneath When your beauty fades away, and you're Old and weathered, will you say it was Worth the waste to peak so young. I'd be Bleeding from my mouth biting my tongue
12.
I Know You 04:13
This time, it's not, the same 'cause I know better You've been, so lost. So long, and no I never Fell for, those tears, so false and reptilian You've missed, those years, since then I shine so brilliant So say it like you mean it Really make me believe it Scream it til you're bleeding One more time with feeling Fires burn, and fade, they spiral out of control Watched this bridge burn, the flames consume it whole and You'll still, be here, still searching, so regrettable I'll be, long gone, colour me inaccessible I know you lie awake in bed, I know you wonder what went wrong I know you better than you think I know you, I know you I know the doubts inside your mind I know you shove aside the pain I know you cast it all aside I know you'd do it all again
13.
One way ticket on the last train out She doesn't care where it goes Drained the contents of her bank account And all she brought were her clothes With her backpack, her hair dyed, Her name cast aside She's just a ghost in the night She's gone come daylight The spirit of radio is dead and gone So she's joined along for the ride (roll the highlights) Seeking a home where there once was not one And storybook endings all lie (lady twilight) One more ticket, destination unknown And she doesn't care where it leads 'Cause any place you lay your head can be called home At least that's what she believes With her eyes on horizons And miles upon miles Behind and inside of her stride She's gone come daylight one more ticket on the last train out one more stop on the ride one more ticket on the last train out one more ghost in the night
14.
Ambulance 03:59
Hello, can you tell me what your, name is How can I help you out. What's wrong Can you, please speak clearly I know this is scary But please listen closely Can you tell if she's breathing Hold on tight we'll be right with you Sit tight, ambulance is On its, way right to you We'll be, there as soon as We can, be to help you I've got, some things I need you to check for me please Is there, a pulse? Are her lips blue Okay, thank you I know this is scary You're doing so well here Thank you for your patience Hold on tight we'll be there shortly
15.
Reticent 04:18
I've been waiting in empty hallways Overhearing whispered conversations For what feels a lifetime Heart is racing and I've been pacing Back and forth in anticipation Now, it might be the last time They've got medicines, and I'm reticent To speak out loud A strict regimen, of adrenaline Now sleep as they weep I suppose that it's mostly fear Of knowing that I know nothing here that Scares me, it's paralyzing Tones of lifelines steady waning Vital signs begin degrading How, can it be the last time They've got medicines, and I'm reticent To speak out loud A strict regimen of adrenaline Now sleep, sleep sound Waves and cannons roar like thunder Threatening to pull us under Loud, til we run aground A chemical high washed us out dear It's not what I meant by saying we would leave here So don't you dare bow out They've got medicines, and I'm reticent To speak out loud You meant everything, my heroine Dig deep, and bow out
16.
Your place or mine, still recall the things you said Cigarettes and wine, an underlying sense of dread Things don't feel right, you're waging war inside your head Nothing seems fine, rather be somewhere else instead Night closes in, a memory shared bittersweet where Our only sins, are those confined between the sheets You let me in, so we'd evade the daybreak Room starts to spin, as we drink to all our mistakes Let your hair down, no more dancing Don't let them know what you're planning Pulses race and then restrict as Bad intent dies fresh on your lips We don't let go, only mourn the things we've lost Burning remorse, and every bridge we crossed Glass overflows, and every simple comfort sought leaves Nought to propose, when there's nothing left to want Your place or mine, I remember what you said Cigarettes and wine, not a single tear was shed no I'd question why, but what the hell would the dead know A last kiss goodbye, placed upon your headstone
17.
Just Say So 04:12
I'm not a gentleman, more of a mental man Always fucking up with the best of intent and then I'm not the best at singing but I rock the instrumental and I'll take your hand and bring you down have you saying never again I'm getting clever again, this is word vomit I just made a new beat and I put some words on it I'm coming out the closet as a bona fide beast Unleashed and completely unhinged and released Call a priest or an exorcist. You know the next to diss is Designated victim he'll be sleeping with the fishes Am I suspicious? I'm dodgy looking I am a fucking nightmare and I'm about to throw the book in Oh man I fucking suck and I'm paranoid and I'm messed up Around the time of brimstone club is when I wrote my best stuff And now I'm off my meds, fuck, and my head's a state I should learn guitar, it's never too late they say But it's maybe too late in the day to fall to my knees and pray To the lord to be saved, I am not that cliche The atheist who found god. I think the fuck not. Better chance of Ben Shapiro finding the g-spot I am not rock, I am not hip-hop I am not electro, I am not pop I am not punk though I can't read music Confused am I destined to remain excluded Concluding I'm stupid, I should've picked a lane Pounding myself in the head, shut up brain Why do I even say half of the things that I say I don't know I was hoping that you could explain I'm not sayin' I'm not sane, I'm sayin' I'm sane About to go super saiyan and mad profane I'd ask you restrain yourself from being so vain As to think I was writing of you when you hear the refrain If you wanna get down with me then fucking say so And if you wanna feel incomplete just fucking say so If you wanna fall short of your promise and hype If the only motivator that you're using is spite And if you wanna take a ride with me just fucking say so Drinking to excess is my best flex One shot, ten shot, light out hit the deck I'll wind in my neck when I'm done for the night Alcoholic cumbrian stereotype I'm just a regular guy who's achieved more than most Best thing since sliced bread, I propose a toast to The type who will ghost you, the type who will coast through Roast you and knows what you will do and wont do Though I'm still ill my stretched out rhyme scheme might seem unadvised So I'll kill Will Smith and leave leave fresh prints at the crime scene and wait while you replay that twice I'm so nice it's like I'm made by Arnott's Went through the school of life and the school of hard knocks Dropped out twice and incurred a hard loss 'cause every love I've ever know has turned out star-crossed I've got a lot of thoughts, and they're hard to sort It all spews forth and amounts to nought But it sounded good, so I'm pleased to report That this'll do for the time being. In short Though I'm out for now I'll be back once more 'Cause I'm a whore for support and hate being ignored So chalk it off, just made one more song I started with a point but now it's definitely gone If you wanna get wild with me then fucking say so And if you wanna defile the sheets just fucking say so Make you weak at the knees like cryptonite Gonna take you back to the crib tonight And if you wanna get down with me just fucking say so If you wanna get high with me then fucking say so If you wanna take a ride on me just fucking say so You wanna get fucked up and have a gang of regrets If you've never nearly died of a hangover yet And if you wanna see it out with me just fucking say so If you ever wanna be like me then fucking say so And if you never heard schemes like these just fucking say so If you wanna get drunk and you wanna get high And you wanna do both with me by your side And if you wanna share my disease then fucking say so If you're getting in way too deep then fucking say so If you're weak and you need some sleep just fucking say so If you're scared that you might be losing your mind If you're afraid and don't want to be maligned If you wanna let go and go home then fucking say so
18.
When I walk in the club, all the girls are like "wow" Then when you walk in the club all the girls they walk out 'Cause I'm highly swagnificent, got the swag dripping and SoCo what I'm sipping I'll be riding in whip and then it's Scene looking red-hot, tell the doorman best not Keep me standing outside, or somebody's gonna get got I'm going to get shots, I want absinthe Forgive me my liver 'cause you're guaranteed I have sinned I'm fly like Jeff Hardy, Fly like Jeff Goldblum Fly into a rage if there is somebody approaching Provoking, Think that I probably just misspoke If you thought that heard not scene was another stupid slogan I talk more shit than a downspout One more hit then I'll bow out Put me on I'll turn the crowd out I'm king shit where's my crown now? My dick's much bigger than yours It's better than yours 'cause it's bigger than yours I don't like Tom Macdonald 'cause he's nothing but an edge lord I heard two of his songs, and they made me fully fledged bored makes my head sore, but this is not a diss He's just Eminem if Eminem was in a sale from WISH I'm more like limp bizkit, proving I'm the shiznit I spit the fokken rhymes that are designed to get your chick wit Shake it like a shake-weight, shake it like a big dick Shake it like you're cheating on your steps to trick your fitbit What you going to do dude? I see you coming unglued Jealousy's an ugly colour but it kind of suits you I'll be rocking youtube, I'll be rocking new shoes I'll be rock and roll while you're at home and watching blues clues I'm in the who's who of underground new dudes If you know the half of it then chugga chugga choo choo I do voodoo, I do magic I get manic, write a song and prove I'm batshit

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This album was written and recorded between February 1st and February 20th, 2022 as part of the RPM challenge.

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released February 22, 2022

All songs written, recorded and performed by Nate Monoxide. ©2022

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Nate Monoxide Cumbria, UK

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